It began as a simple question: why are kids around the world taught to believe that a mythical figure in a red coat is real and breaking into their home on Christmas Eve? And, what about the Easter Bunny? The truth turns out to be complicated, contentious, sometimes silly, often gruesome, and far, far weirder than you ever guessed. A wickedly perfect family holiday dinner conversation-starter for the mischievous skeptic, the real value of this zine is its glimpse into the messy, inconsistent, contested ways that humans create truly weird traditions and how they evolve over centuries to get even weirder.